FINDING SOMEONE NEW

In May last year I had my heart broken. And I’m still not over it. My friends tell me that I need to move past it, get over it, move on. So fucking easier than it sounds. I’ve met other guys since he left (clarification: he left the country, but thar resulted in him having to leave me), but none of them give me that feeling. That electric feeling. That painful, allconsuming feeling. Fuck.

It comes in waves. I can go weeks without thinking of him, but then someone says something funny and I while I’m laughing I’m thinking that you would find that funny too. So what am I supposed to do? I can’t have my heart set aside untill the new Mr. Right comes along. Because for me they are far and long between.

I actually had this talk with one of the guys I’m seeing, or was seeing, not sure after that strange date conversation, in bed, naked. He became so distant I thought his brain had fallen out. So I asked: WTF!?
And he said that it was stupid, and he shouldn’t be telling me this, but it was about another girl. That he was in love with. But she was happy with someone else, dispite my dates best efforts to win her over. He was feeling guilty for being with me and not giving me the attention I desereved. To his suprise I was very sympathetic because, as I told him, I am in kind of the same situation.

He was mortified for telling me, but I thought it was nice. Nice because of the honesty. That we could talk about someting like this and not be upset. Nice that we shared something that usually is specifically hidden  away from our other love interests.

For now I guess him and I are still works in progress.

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